Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Isi isi was written at 10:53 PM
I am here.. In my room.. Wearing pyjamas.. Gulping jasmine green tea..
HAHA.
Anyways, today is my 'Stress By My Mother' Day. She really pushed my buttons today. Macam, she ordered me around for example cari her room keys cause she lost it. -__-' Lapas atu sikit sikit marah and say I shouldn't act like so and so since I'm nearly 20. -__-' Sasakku. Then paling extreme was she asked me to climb the fireman's ladder to get into her room pasal ia malu if the firemen masuk ke biliknya. -__-' Bangganglah aku..I mean, don't I have huge brothers who people practically think are older, who could climb better? Gila wah. And she said, I quote, (to lure me to want to climb the ladder) "Siuk jua tu extreme bah adventure. Lifetime experience"
INDEEEE.. -________-' I swear the veins on my head are still visibly pulsing.
So tadi I potong my graduation kain. Sadly I got yang lunturkan and since it's non-exchangable, pakai saja tia. Ok pulang banarnya I don't mind it pasal inda nampak banar tapi the tailor lah majal cakap sayang yatah aku sasak -__-'. Pemajal hantap. Rasakan ku sauk wah pikir saja. -__-'
So my cousin ada problem with the boyfriend.. I actually find it fascinating. Macam, ok seriously wah I've never been in those kinds of stuff or problems yatah I should go all sasak but somehow.. Inda. I don't sasak the guy kah apa.. I don't think her decisions and actions are stupid crap. She asks me stuff but I tell her bluntly I don't know. I tell her what I think pulang, what I think she should do crap but I kept reminding her lah I've never in one so don't trust me that much. I listened to her lah apa. Some of those times, I divert the talk to something else. They may think I'm being selfish kan cakap pasal diriku but it's just that I feel uncomfortable liat durang pikirkan the problem and marung marung.. And she doesn't talk about it much so bahapa juaku kan pajal? You know. If she tells then ok I listen but when she doesn't want to talk then I'll stop, then I just dance making them laugh.
So the problem ada affect kah inda arah saya? Yes ada. It just made me not want a relationship. Takutku. I mean, I want a guy who loves me; with that love he'd only see me, trust me and wouldn't want to hurt me. He accepts me the way I am, my good sides and bad sides, and he wouldn't care about the bad side jua in the end pasal what matters is that it's me, nada orang lain. So it gets me thinking.. Why do you go curang?
I guess it's because you're not happy with them? Or maybe andang gatal? Or the love is just gone? If it's gone then why can't you cut it off before you go and look for another? Is it because you're scared? Of what? Breaking their hearts? But bukankah if they found out kamu curang, that would hurt them far more then putus pasal the love is gone? And finding out kamu curang is more bastard than anything. You know.
I'm not sure what I will be in the future but for now, what I do know is that when I love someone I only love that one person. No one else tu. I may sound gatal shit suka macam macam laki laki but no one else tu.. In my heart that person saja. So they get all the benefits.. I mean I'd love them sampai sampai I'd be really setia no one else crap, I'll try to make them happy, I'll think about them all the time, miss them 24/7 and semua lah ah. Finally when they want it to be over, I'd love them so much that I'd let them go and see them be happy.
So when I get in a relationship atu wah, ngam tia yang jenis curang yang I'd love; they don't even love me at all, girls keliling pinggang and I'm sure I'll be a fool tu love ia saja tu.. And when he goes around cutting it off he wouldn't feel guilty pasal I'd say inda apa tu pasal I want them to be happy (and I'm sincere about it). So sakit jua aku tu. =( Menakutkan.
HAHA.
Anyways, today is my 'Stress By My Mother' Day. She really pushed my buttons today. Macam, she ordered me around for example cari her room keys cause she lost it. -__-' Lapas atu sikit sikit marah and say I shouldn't act like so and so since I'm nearly 20. -__-' Sasakku. Then paling extreme was she asked me to climb the fireman's ladder to get into her room pasal ia malu if the firemen masuk ke biliknya. -__-' Bangganglah aku..I mean, don't I have huge brothers who people practically think are older, who could climb better? Gila wah. And she said, I quote, (to lure me to want to climb the ladder) "Siuk jua tu extreme bah adventure. Lifetime experience"
INDEEEE.. -________-' I swear the veins on my head are still visibly pulsing.
So tadi I potong my graduation kain. Sadly I got yang lunturkan and since it's non-exchangable, pakai saja tia. Ok pulang banarnya I don't mind it pasal inda nampak banar tapi the tailor lah majal cakap sayang yatah aku sasak -__-'. Pemajal hantap. Rasakan ku sauk wah pikir saja. -__-'
So my cousin ada problem with the boyfriend.. I actually find it fascinating. Macam, ok seriously wah I've never been in those kinds of stuff or problems yatah I should go all sasak but somehow.. Inda. I don't sasak the guy kah apa.. I don't think her decisions and actions are stupid crap. She asks me stuff but I tell her bluntly I don't know. I tell her what I think pulang, what I think she should do crap but I kept reminding her lah I've never in one so don't trust me that much. I listened to her lah apa. Some of those times, I divert the talk to something else. They may think I'm being selfish kan cakap pasal diriku but it's just that I feel uncomfortable liat durang pikirkan the problem and marung marung.. And she doesn't talk about it much so bahapa juaku kan pajal? You know. If she tells then ok I listen but when she doesn't want to talk then I'll stop, then I just dance making them laugh.
So the problem ada affect kah inda arah saya? Yes ada. It just made me not want a relationship. Takutku. I mean, I want a guy who loves me; with that love he'd only see me, trust me and wouldn't want to hurt me. He accepts me the way I am, my good sides and bad sides, and he wouldn't care about the bad side jua in the end pasal what matters is that it's me, nada orang lain. So it gets me thinking.. Why do you go curang?
I guess it's because you're not happy with them? Or maybe andang gatal? Or the love is just gone? If it's gone then why can't you cut it off before you go and look for another? Is it because you're scared? Of what? Breaking their hearts? But bukankah if they found out kamu curang, that would hurt them far more then putus pasal the love is gone? And finding out kamu curang is more bastard than anything. You know.
I'm not sure what I will be in the future but for now, what I do know is that when I love someone I only love that one person. No one else tu. I may sound gatal shit suka macam macam laki laki but no one else tu.. In my heart that person saja. So they get all the benefits.. I mean I'd love them sampai sampai I'd be really setia no one else crap, I'll try to make them happy, I'll think about them all the time, miss them 24/7 and semua lah ah. Finally when they want it to be over, I'd love them so much that I'd let them go and see them be happy.
So when I get in a relationship atu wah, ngam tia yang jenis curang yang I'd love; they don't even love me at all, girls keliling pinggang and I'm sure I'll be a fool tu love ia saja tu.. And when he goes around cutting it off he wouldn't feel guilty pasal I'd say inda apa tu pasal I want them to be happy (and I'm sincere about it). So sakit jua aku tu. =( Menakutkan.
You got me XOXO,
Wedah