Monday, August 24, 2009
Feelings Show was written at 7:36 PM
I'm really -something- right now. Atulah ah pokoknya. I'm not eating that much even sungkai..Minum pun macam, I should, atleast water but it just wouldn't go in. My mind's restless so I walk around alot and always end up tempat Si Yui..Sana tahku tu duduk banggang macam inda sadar diri. Hahah.. Inda jalan kaki, I use the car raun the kampung. If lah inda puasa ni I bring all to play netball. Banar tah. Hahah.Anyways, I'm going to start rambling ni lai jangan jua. If inda paham diam saja and if paham, pun diam sajalah ah.. hahah.
The problem with me is that I'm forgetful and tactless. And I don't trust my feelings easily. Even if I may sound like I'm really open and the stuff that I say sound unimportant but I say them because IT IS important.. You, of all people noticed it.
Maybe you think I say things without sincerity cause of the tone of my voice but the reason I use that tone is because I'm not confident.. I'm scared. I am never confident. And I don't, never utter beautiful words without sincerity. Cause that's not me.. I don't even utter them that much to my parents, who deserve them more than anybody I know. I can never say my feelings right.. Never.. but you can see it by how I move about, my expression apa.. I just hope you get that.
I am never insincere about my feelings and that's why I'm afraid of them.. Cause they're too strong and I fear people see it macam I'm this psycho thing. I am not. I'm paranoid, never confident and very random. Macam I have this gazillion ways to say it and in the end I won't say it cause I'll end up stuck on how to say it, I'll be scared if nobody accepts it and I fear that I'd use the wrong way on how to say it.
And I think I say my plans crap so that I'd feel I have back up when I'm hurt, padahal I've been hurt selama ani. Even before you came.
Yes aku inda ngana but please just bare with me.
I like every part of you: yang cali, who listens to me, the one who talks to my brothers, who looks at me all sincere and..well banyak lagi but I feel funny saying them here.
But my point is,
I like you. Believe me, never doubt it. I look like I don't because I'm scared that you won't like me so I might as well back off first. And again, I repeat. I is the paranoid type.
I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you.
I just need to let this out and I don't care. It's my time to sound membari watir. It's my time to say what I want.
Aight I'm done. Hahah. Phewh.
You got me XOXO,
Wedah