Sunday, September 28, 2008
Ku susun 10 jari was written at 4:14 AM
My internet has gone from crap to just plain..shit.
It's shitty to the point that I, Dk.Nur Wahidah, preferred studying.
Inda jua ngana tu. WTH.
Inda jua ngana tu. WTH.
Once again (I NEVER seem to fail you guys on this *department), aku baru ingat Raya inda lagi lama. Like, liat bulan is on Tuesday? Yeah.
Someone asked me the other day. He asked, 'Siukkan raya ani?' And in my head I'm all, Woah someona is actually asking me this.
That question had been sitting in my head for the past 2 weeks; before he asked by the way.
It's not the 'siuk' part that I'm thinking about; it's like the whole thing really. I mean, when I was little, raya is like Christmas; I mean the way you see christmas movies yang ada anak-anak atu get all excited, payah kan tidur apa, iski nampak inilah itulah.. Yeah I was that way. I slept at 3am masa esuknya kan raya; every time ada the urang tua dude declare esuk rayakah inda I'd pray with all my shitty little heart could for raya to fall on the next day; baju gets all ironed up 3 times by yours truly just to make sure I'd look great; I'd get iski liat cucul apa; I'd ask my dad to turn the cucul on if our neighbour turns their cucul on and the list goes on and on.
Then on the raya itself.. we'd go to my grandparent's house and my family would always, for better or for worst, be the ones yang datang awal and would wait for my other relatives 3 hours di sana kan sama sama convoy; then after like 3 houses, we'd go home pasal bagas naleh nunggu. Then 2nd day of raya the same thing happens and then the 3rd day is either nada keluar or just one house or two. This thing's been happening for nearly, literally, my whole life.
As for the preperations; I'd tell you one day when you ask me or when I'm on my deathbed. Pokoknya it's not worth doing it when all you'd do is the things I mentioned above. I mean, it's just that exhausting.
Raya is for forgiving, celebrating that we had fasted for 1 month = 30 days = 720 hours = 43200 minutes = 2592000 seconds and getting forgiveness.
I haven't witness those begged for forgiveness and forgiving what not since I was 10..
The relatives I used to visit are getting lesser and lesser..
So for the past.. I don't know.. 4 years already? I've prayed for raya to NOT fall on the next day once, I've sent my kain to the tailor 2 weeks before raya once, I've brought my normal clothes to my grandparents and took a nap there once.
So I can't really pin-point onto 1 reason to answer is raya siuk or apa.
Siuk at times, boring at times, membari sasak at times, ironic at times and ... at times.
In the end I just gonna have to agree with you;
Maybe as we get older, raya just falls out of our hearts..
Yours Truly,
Wedah
*The Department of 'Retard much Wedah?'
You got me XOXO,
Wedah